Understanding Your Role as a Client in Counselling

Understanding Your Role as a Client in Counselling

Embarking on the counselling journey is a significant step toward healing and self-discovery. I will never underestimate the courage it sometimes takes to make that initial call to see a therapist. There are a variety of reasons why people might reach out for counselling. Still, regardless of the cause, the individual's active participation is crucial to the success of this process.

I often hear from people who don't know what to expect in counselling or who have had negative experiences with another therapist. I wanted to provide some information regarding a client's role in counselling. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, and some of these points will take time to establish. Nonetheless, these points are essential for clients to know if they want a better chance of success in counselling.

Active Participation

Sometimes, individuals attend counselling believing that the counsellor is the expert and can tell them precisely what to do and how to do it. Many people think there will be a quick fix with minimal effort. I say this with the utmost compassion and without judgment; I believe people underestimate the commitment of counselling and what their part will look like in the therapeutic relationship.

Counselling is a collaborative process. Your active participation is essential for effective Therapy. You must engage fully in the session by openly sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This openness allows me, as your counsellor, to understand your perspective and tailor our approach to your unique needs. I do not believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to Therapy. Therefore, I need to know the unique parts of what you bring to the therapy process.

Additionally, you must be honest in Therapy. Honesty is the cornerstone of a successful therapeutic relationship. Being truthful with me about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in session will create the foundation of trust and ensure that the guidance you receive is relevant and effective. I understand that sometimes this takes time, and building rapport and establishing safety is a must before this can happen, but this is what we are striving for.

Setting Goals

Sometimes, when you decide to attend Therapy, you don't necessarily know what your goals are for Therapy. That's okay. However, knowing the goals within the first few sessions is essential. If we don't know what we are working toward, how will we know when we get there? A collaborative effort in setting goals ensures that your Therapy is focused and directed toward meaningful outcomes. Setting goals gives us a clear sense of direction and purpose in your sessions. Sometimes, clients might hesitate to set goals because life is complex, and who knows what will come up in session as time goes on. Please know that although we might set initial goals in session, I will check in with you often to ensure we are still on the same page about what we are working towards. This is a critical piece of our therapeutic alliance.

Being clear about what you want to achieve helps you and me stay focused and measure progress. When your goals are well-defined, tracking your journey and celebrating your achievements becomes easier.

Commitment to the Process

One of the things I find most challenging as a therapist is inconsistent Therapy. Every client is so different in what they want in terms of the frequency of sessions, and this is such a meaningful conversation to have during the free consultation. Most people attending Therapy seek significant changes in many areas of their lives, including emotional, behavioral, and relational concerns. Regular attendance is crucial in counselling. Consistency helps build a solid therapeutic relationship and ensures steady progress. If you are looking for significant gains in Therapy, please make your sessions a priority and be physically and mentally present when you attend sessions.

It is also essential to remember that if I, as your counsellor, assign you tasks or exercises to do between sessions, you really should complete them. I don't request work to be done between sessions unless it will benefit the overall effectiveness of Therapy. These assignments reinforce what we've discussed in sessions and help you apply new insights and tools to your daily life.

Openness to Change

When individuals attend my practice, I understand that they often do so with a lot of nervousness and uncertainty. Therapy can be daunting and scary to think about, so I will never expect someone to walk in the door on day one with an open mind and readiness to change. Everyone is different. Some are ready to go, while others are a little more reserved. Both are okay. Just know that it is essential to work towards having an open mind. Being open to exploring new perspectives and trying new approaches suggested in our sessions is crucial for your success. Flexibility allows you to adapt and grow, even when faced with discomfort or unfamiliarity. As I share in my article The Role of the Therapist, I explain how I will support you through the early days of Therapy to get you to a place where you can practice more flexibility.

Understanding that change can be uncomfortable but necessary for growth is an essential piece of Therapy. Often, people turn their backs on Therapy when things begin to get hard, but this is when it becomes paramount for you to lean in. My job is to be that sturdy support person to help you through the uneasy feeling of stepping outside your comfort zone. Let me help you help yourself. It is precisely what I am here for.

Feedback

Feedback is one of the most important things for clients to consider before attending counselling. As I mentioned before, I often have clients who share with me negative experiences they had with previous therapists. Yes, some of these experiences are troublesome, and I understand why the client discontinued care. However, clients may have been more successful in many cases if they had a conversation and shared feedback with their counsellor before stepping away.

I have no doubt I am someone's "shitty therapist" story simply because they didn't communicate with me, and therefore, we were not on the same page. I can confidently say this hasn't happened 'yet' to my knowledge, but I have had clients ghost me and discontinue Therapy for reasons I am unaware of.

My goal is always to establish a space of safety where my clients feel comfortable telling me the truth about how they think about Therapy and me as their therapist. Providing me feedback about what is working and isn't working in your sessions is crucial for me to understand so I know if we need to shift our focus. This opens a line of communication and allows me to tailor your therapy sessions to better meet your needs and ensure you get the most out of them.

Check out my article on Ending Therapy.

Trust Building

It's safe to say that it doesn't matter what therapeutic approach or intervention is used in Therapy; if there is no solid therapeutic alliance, the therapy sessions will be less effective. Building rapport in sessions is incredibly important. With that said, building trust takes time. Being patient with the process and yourself is essential, as it can often take several sessions before establishing a therapeutic alliance.

I want people to know that if we begin sessions and you don't feel any connection with me, please know this is okay. I would rather know this sooner than later to help guide you to someone who may be a better fit. You will not hurt my feelings. Ideally, I want to connect with everyone who attends the Hope and Healing Sanctuary, but I also know this doesn't always happen. I will check in with you if the connection is not there. Please understand that this is only because I want what is best for you in Therapy, and the sooner you are connected with someone who resonates with you, the sooner your growth and healing will begin.

Never hesitate to express your needs and preferences in Therapy. This is your right as a client. This is your journey, and your input is vital. I am there to support you, and your active involvement shapes the direction of your Therapy. I want you to feel empowered to ask questions and seek clarification about your therapy process. Understanding the rationale behind therapeutic techniques and approaches enhances your engagement and commitment, and I always prioritize educating my clients as to why we might be doing something in Therapy. This only enhances trust and the effectiveness of our therapeutic relationship over time.

Understanding your role as a client in the counselling relationship can significantly enhance the effectiveness of your Therapy. By actively participating, setting clear goals, being open to change, and providing feedback, you can make the most of your counselling sessions and achieve meaningful growth and healing.

Remember, this journey is about you. Your willingness to engage, reflect, and embrace change will pave the way for a transformative experience. As much as I am here to support and guide you through this process, counselling is a partnership; your active role is the key to unlocking your potential and achieving your desired growth.

As you embark on this path, know that you are not alone. If you choose to work with me, I am here for you every step of the way. Together, if you trust me, we can create a space for healing, growth, and self-discovery.